I need your help please!

And we're back, after 2 weeks of blissful spring break. Just to recap quickly, I did my presentation of my 3 directions 3 Mondays ago to a wonderful audience full of inspiring feedback. Huge thank you to everyone who came - I can't express how much your presence helped on so many different levels. I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy lives to listen to two grad students drone on about projects that mean so much to them and possibly so little to you! (I mean that in a good way!)

The presentation went really well, I got so much out of it. It was nerve racking and put my communication skills to the test. I got lots of great feedback and new ideas from the audience so I'm taking that as a good sign I was able to effectively communicate my 3 wacky ideas to everyone. Mission accomplished! Now, I have the glorious task of implementing the feedback, designing, and producing this marvellous piece in 4 weeks! (Holy shit!).

Let me back it up a step and recap. (If you've been following along you can skip the next 2 paragraphs.) My project is on creative block, or designers block, as I have recently gone through such a (horrible) thing. When going about figuring out my 3 possible directions to take the project, I summarized some basic things I went through to overcome (or help deal with) my creative block:

walking away - removing yourself from the problem, however that might have been. (Examples: eating a  [gigantic] bowl of ice cream, watching tv with family, spending time with family or friends, going to the gym, having a hot shower etc etc). 

communication - talking it out. this includes talking to mentors, friends, family, creatives and non creatives. It helped me unbottle all the emotional shit I'd been bottling up for quite some time, I spoke about my feelings and emotional state both with this project/creative block and with my life in general. It helped inspire me again, make me feel better, less overwhelmed, and more confident in myself. It got me brainstorming with other bright-minded creatives which helped with my flow of creativity again.

creativity - engaging in something else creative ie getting involved in someone else's community project, forcing yourself to do one creative thing a day (not related to any of your projects). 

My 3 directions (3 possible ways I could tackle this project)

community blog: a website based around the idea of creativity, inspiration and communication. A blog to vent about current projects and have a virtual conversation with other designers. This site would also include links to other local community projects you can dive into (virtual and real), and little projects to do catapult your brain back into creative mode.

personal book: a personal reflection of what I've gone through. Though this won't help others directly, it'll help me as it will force me to critically analyze my negative thought process and creative process and do something to change this. It will help me find peace within myself and hopefully provide inspiration to others going through something similar.

walk-away website: a website that gets the community involved building your project. This would act as a place where you take the primitive concepts, sketches and guidelines to a project and throw them into the blogosphere. Through 5 minute rotations everyone online would get a chance to respond and build off of what was previously sketched/noted down. This is a place where you can take part in other designers' projects by responding to their scribbles.

So. Here's my next step. As of last class last Monday, I have my plan of action. I have decided to go with the book idea - direction numero dos. This book is a testament of what I've gone through over the past few months. It is extremely personal. It is my emotional response to some of the emotional drama I've gone through tied into the experience of my personal creative block and being who I am and how I think and where I am in my life. Personal is the key here, this book is my personal story, a diary essentially. It's no ordinary book though - this thing will have pop ups and fold outs and lots of nick knacks to explore and discover.

However, feedback from the audience has introduced the idea of bringing in the aspect of community and communication into this project. I like this feedback and think it's a great idea, considering it was one of the biggest things that has helped me, and this book is about my experience. The problem now is figuring out how to incorporate this. This is where I need your help friends! I have a few ideas but I have not figured out exactly the right route. PLEASE let me know through email or comments what you think of these next ideas, whether you can expand or critique them, or if you have any of your own.

**I should just note that I think it important to incorporate this aspect of community communication, though it is equally important to remember the purpose of this book - what makes it unique - is it is my PERSONAL story. Therefore, the community involvement can't take over the book. (This is one of the troubles I realized when coming up with ideas. I was letting the communication part take over the book).

IDEA: Let friends leave comments on different bits of the book - like the comment cards at restaurants. There could be little flaps within each section and if the content is something you can relate to or you want to leave me some advice, simply fill out a comment card and leave it in the book. This would be done once the book is complete and being passed around to read. 

Potential Problems: It is not directly true to the idea of communication during a problem. This communication is happening after the problem (in the form of this book) being complete. The purpose of communication during a crisis is helping the subject through their problem.

IDEA: Having my friends/advisors/people-I've-spoken-to-over-the-past-few-months-about-this tell my story. Have everyone write down a little paragraph or bit about what they realized I was doing or going through during our conversation. Example: When talking to one of my mentors she pointed out that I was worrying about things way down the future (8 months away), and that I should be focusing on the present problems and let the future take the path it will take. "Worry about that then, not now because it's not something you have control over," she would say. So perhaps she would write me a little letter saying "Daria is a worry wart. She needs to not get so overwhelmed by the what ifs of the future, and focus on what she has control over in the present, and what the present problems are that need fussing with. And girl, it's going to be ok. Relax, breathe, have a beer." 

Potential Problems: This is relying too much on others. I'm relying on the communication aspect to write my book, and this book is my personal reflection so it needs not stray from that.

IDEA: Have all my friends give me a write up of 3 pieces of advice for me, based on our conversations, my situation, and/or what they see me going through.

Potential Problems: too much work to ask of in such a short timeline of my also extremely busy and stressed friends?

IDEA: Have my friends write me a letter each about who I am in their eyes. A wise friend once told me, "when I'm feeling insecure and full of self doubt, I sometimes look around and think about what my friends think of me. If they all seem to have confidence in me, then I must be doing something right."

Potential Problems: I worry this would turn into some ego-trip "look how great Daria is" - and that's so NOT where I'd want this to go, or how I'd want this to be taken. I don't want the book to be seen as a brag story or a boasting of the self, because that's so far from the real case. This idea comes from having very little self-confidence, and a lot of self-doubt, and overcoming that by the help and realization of the love of your friends. Sometimes all it takes is realizing what others think of you that helps you feel a bit more confident in yourself, or at least make you strive to make them proud.

Potential Problems: again, too much work to ask of in such a short timeline of my also extremely busy and stressed friends?

IDEA: with any of these written blurbs, I thought it would be cool to ask my friends to write it up in a creative way - like hand write a letter, or make a little card, or one could be an email. My goal would then be to take this written piece they've given me and physically incorporate it into my project. Rather than being given a write-up that I then style and incorporate and manipulate it myself into the book, having the real piece as is from my friends placed into the book. Like a little piece of everyone who has helped me along the way.

Potential Problems: This could be disastrous in production, and could put me in a position where I'm compromising the design of the book to force someone else's work to work with the book design.... And once again, it's a lot to ask of my friends in such short notice and timeframe.

IDEA: ask my friends their stories, document it and incorporate them into the book. This way it is not just my story, but how my friends when through a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Potential Problems: Straying from the fact that this is my PERSONAL book. One thought I had to solve this was, maybe it's MY analyzation of my friends' situations - their situation through my eyes and how I can learn from their situations. Another problem with the original idea is that many friends may not want to have their heart spilled and gutted into my book. Plus it's a lot to ask of everyone who I know is super busy, and I have a tight schedule to keep to so I'd have to steal a few hours of all my friends' time within the next week.

That's all I have so far - any ideas? Suggestions? How can I involve the aspect of communication and talking through your problems with your friends - hearing their problems which can help you come to some conclusions about your situation? It's like, with every conversation I have, my friends help me discover who I am a little bit more, by realizing what I'm doing, what I'm going through, how I'm dealing with it, what I'm feeling etc.

IT SEEMS THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH LEAVING COMMENTS - to save you the hassle, please email me your feedback as blogspot seems to be unable to post comments right now. Sorry!

Visualization time

The big day is approaching quickly. This Monday, Feb, 28 I will be presenting my 3 directions & sketches to a group of designers at Langara. Anyone is welcome to come, contact me if you'd like the deets. This will be an opportunity for me to present to everyone what I've done so far, and to hear feedback on what you think would be the best next step, what's working, and what's not.

So! I have a busy weekend ahead of me. After some great feedback last class my directions have shifted ever so slightly once again. But I think, finally, I've gotten somewhere solid with this project. Here's a summary of everything so far:

THE PROBLEM:

Over the past few months I've found myself increasingly creatively blocked. Which is ironic because I've always been overly imaginative and creative. So, how the hell do you get out of a creative block? With this project I am digging deeper into the philosophies and psychologies of creative block, and what some ways are that you can deal with it.

DIRECTION ONE:

Community Website:

This website is focused around communication and inspiration. In short, one of the biggest helps I had when I was stuck was talking to friends and mentors. Just verbalizing what I was feeling, why I was feeling and having someone listen and guide me was extremely helpful. It didn't always lead directly to the answer, but they helped me find my path again. This website will be a hub for exactly that, featuring a blog community where you can post your own design road blocks and people can comment and help you through it. There will also be 2 sections acting as sources of inspiration, for you to either post what is inspiring you at this moment, or for you to browse through and get inspired by.

And finally, there will be a section dedicated to other creative projects you can participate in. This section was inspired by Cindy Sheldan's letter-a-day project that I have actively been participating in every day for the last month or so. It has been hugely helpful in forcing me to do something creative everyday. Check out her blog here - it's definitely worth it: http://perdiem.posterous.com/

DIRECTION TWO:

Personal documentation:

This direction is my most personal. It is simply a book that delves into my journey, my thoughts, and my conclusions of my experience with creative block. If nothing else, it's purpose will be to help me feel closure with this struggle, and to serve as a reminder in the future of what I can do, and that I'll be ok. In this book, I am diving into psychology of the mind, and analyzing myself, and my life, and where I am in the world. I tackle the big, scary questions of being young, emerging in the world of design, soon graduating from school and feeling scared of failure. I hope this book could be interesting to others too, as I don't think I'm the only one in the world who's felt this way or asked these questions.

DIRECTION THREE:

Walk-away website:

This website is based around the concept of walking away. One thing that really helped me become inspired again was all the different things I did when I walked away, whether that be eating ice cream, watching tv, going for a run, taking a shower, participating in Cindy's blog etc. Everyone has their own comforting things they do when they walk away. But what if you can't walk away? What else can you do if you're in a position where you can't physically remove yourself from the situation? You can throw away your design problem to the world. This website will act as a hub, where you can scribble everything you've got on a piece of paper in regards to your design problem - whether it's simple the guidelines you have to design by, your primitive ideas, words, sketches - anything and everything. Then, you simply through that paper out to the world, and wait for it to come back to you with the answer.

How it works is like a rotating table. You have 5 mins jot everything down, then your paper will rotate to someone else who is online. They will receive your paper and draw ontop of it - anything that comes to their mind. This will repeat every 5 minutes, so by the time it comes back to you your paper will have thoughts and ideas from numerous other designers. In the meantime while you're waiting, you will do the same with other people's projects.

3 official directions

I seem to have disappeared into the world of self analyzation over the past couple of weeks, but I've definitely made some heavy progress!

Last Week:

Thanks to the help of some of my other teachers (present and past), I realized I was going about tackling this project backwards. My topic was creativity, my problem was creative-block, and the solutions I was coming up with weren't solving my problem on a wide-spread scale. Rather, they were the product of something I'd come up with upon finding 'the spark' again. I went through a process of stickies,  brainstorming all the things that I've found inspiring or interesting in my life. I looked at what it meant to be creative, and to play, and what that looked like in nature, children and adults. While going through these exercises I came up with 3 really cool projects that I was excited about. One dealt with history, and comparing a timeline of art history, design history, architecture, sculpture, politics and religion. While this would be an amazing project to work on, (and I still may do this one day), it didn't directly solve the problem of creative block. In other words, by someone engaging in this project their creative block would not be solved. I realized I needed to stop focusing on the end projects I'd come up with, but rather what I did to come up with them.

Here's a little diagram:

So, last week I began redirecting my focus to the little blue area. I went through another session of stickies and whiteboard scribbling, and came up with a select number of things I went through to get out of my rut:

Then I applied these core elements to 3 different directions:

1.BOARDGAME

The purpose of this game would be to play it at the moment of utter frustration and lack of inspiration. The goal of the game would be to get your mind off whatever the problem is, to form a cause of distraction. It would force you to go through all these elements by engaging the brain, then forcing it to take a break, distracting it, teaching it new things etc.

2. BOOK

This book would be extremely engaging, not like a normal sit down and read book. There would be pop ups and fold outs and little things here and there to read. It would have a read and write function, acting like a journal. This way, it acts both as a memory book, reminding you of all the past times you went through this block (and how you got out of it), as well as a guide to get out of it again.

3. WEBSITE

This site would act as both a hub for you to go and browse through other people's sources of inspiration, but also to communicate directly with someone else. There will be elements of both the book and boardgame within the site, forcing your brain to go through different stages of the process.

Nigel Marsh on making work-life balance work

I came across this today while I was scrolling through my tweets. What a coincidence it fits right in with this project!

When I was a little girl. . .

I had a big epiphany the other day: My whole life I've always wanted to be more grown up. I strive to be older, desire independence, and seek a lifestyle higher than my age bracket. I've always been on the more mature side of the scale than not, and most of my friends are much older than I. This is fine, and not something I can change, it's just the way I am. However, I realized the other day I've been trying so hard to be a grown up I've lost focus. I've put so much pressure on myself to be more mature, do mature things, act like I'm 30, not make mistakes, get my life together etc, that I've forgotten who I am and how to live.

When I was a little girl I used to play the wildest games. I had such a vivid creative imagination you could put me in an empty room with a box and a piece of string and I'd have a fantastical world with dragons and unicorns dancing to the depths of each corner within 5 minutes. I was happy as a clam and I LOVED my play time. It didn't matter if I had a play mate or if I was by myself. I even wrote a book once based on a game my friend and I made up at the beach one day. It involved evil invisible dragons that you could only tell where they were by their claw scrapes in the sand.

There are 2 friends in particular who I remember vividly having the most imaginative play times together. We would play house, where we each played multiple characters, and we'd make up the rules as we'd go, spontaneity being the base of the game. And we had no humiliation, no shame. We just played as things came to our minds, never a dull moment in the story. We'd play lego and build unimaginable castles and fortresses, we'd play barbies and horses and ride off on long adventures through the woods and the clowds. We'd play playmobile and trolls and hot wheels and transformers. We'd play dinosaurs and lion king figurines. We'd play with fruit and vegetables, office supplies and furniture. We'd play with anything that was readily available to us wherever we were.

And yet here I am. I've forgotten how to be creative. I've forgotten how to have fun and play. The base of my childhood has somehow been lost in my eagerness to grow up and gain control of my own life. This must change.

Phase 2: Research

Well, after another productive class I have covered new ground with this project. I'm moving into phase 2, and will be developing a number of different directions I could take this project. This week is all about coming up with these different directions, and visualizing them through sketches, narratives and moodboards.

This project is becoming more and more personal. I have realized it encompasses my personal journey to discovering who I am, where I belong both in the world and in design, and how to be at peace with myself and the world around me. My creative block is a result of an imbalance between all these things. The ironic thing is that I know you can't force inspiration, it comes from anywhere. Still, I have to find a way out of my rut, and out of my destructive creative process.

Funnily enough, after brainstorming in class I think the real solution is that I need to get a life. I need to find balance between my work life and personal life, and I need to find balance within my work life, and within my personal life. I need to organize my time effectively to alleviate stress and to be sure I'm getting a proper night's sleep.

But I feel this is a big task for anyone in their lives. It's a hard thing to balance work, personal life, health etc. Where do you find time to get your exercise, cook healthy food, spend time with your family, visit friends, go out and do something you enjoy, read a book, watch TV. There's just no time!? How do you get all that and all your work done all while getting a full night's sleep?

Inner peace is another big thing that came up. How do you find inner peace? How do you deal with all the inner anxieties and stresses? All the doubts and insecurities that rattle around in your brain?

And finally, even though I know you can't chose when it comes, where do you find your inspiration?

The REAL Problem

First off I'd like to thank everyone who commented and sent me feedback, both in the virtual world and the real world. Your comments have helped me determine my problem, and I think I've come close to figuring it out completely.

After delving furthur into the topics I'd come up with, I admitted to myself that none of them excited me. Not enough to work on them for 3 months. I know that after 3 months I'll be sick of any project, but I might as well love it for as long as I can. I was becoming utterly depressed and anxious about finding 'the perfect topic'. My problem was that I kept focusing on what the problem I would solve was. I found myself in a rut, unable to come up with anything worthy of my time and energy. I shifted my focus to myself, and my interests. I asked myself, 'if you could do anything (design project wise), what would you do?' What project have I been dying to work on, but haven't had the time to start?

My discoveries have led me to understand a few things:

My problem is me: I've hit a creative block in my life. I'm exhausted, brain dead and burnt out. I've run out of steam, out of creativity and energy, out of motivation and determination. I should stress that it is not this project that's pushed me over the edge, it's a number of things that have happened over the past year and a bit, both in my work life and personal life. This is an opportunity though, not a negative situation. I've found my problem! The first step to solving your problem is knowing what it is, and admitting that you have one.

At the risk of getting too personal and spilling my guts, I'll keep this concise by saying I'm at a time in my life where I've been doing a lot of personal reflection. I'm at a fork in the road, and the future is unclear to me right now. This is something that both excites me, and gives me great anxiety. I'm still discovering new things about myself, which sometimes makes me feel insecure, and sometimes boosts my confidence. As an offshoot of this, I am my own worst enemy. I'm hard on myself, and I doubt myself. I am a perfectionist and I beat myself up when I can't meet the unobtainable goals I create for myself. My design process is self destructive.

So, back to this project. I need to solve this problem of mine, I need to keep my mind challenged, I need to explore new grounds, I need to stimulate my creative brain, and I need to accomplish the project through a new process that doesn't include self destructive. Through this I also need to sort myself out, like a musician uses their music as therapy, I will use this project as mine. I will explore and challenge myself in new ways.

Project Breakdown:

 

Main Topic:

Designer's block.

Design problem/opportunity:

-creativity is gone
-no inspiration
-burnt out
-destructive creative process.
-focus too much on the end results being perfect

Audience:

-me
-anyone who finds themselves in a creative block and has the tendency to be destructive like me may find this project interesting and helpful
-creatives stuck in a rut

Objectives & Criteria:

If this project is successful I will have completed a project through a new linear process. I will have explored new mediums and paths I have not explored before. I will have been organized and managed my time properly. I will have been creatively stimulated and excited throughout the whole project, and I will feel excited and satisfied with the final result. I will NOT have pulled 24/hour work days, no tears, no negative accusations of myself (from myself), no feelings of it never being good enough. I will learn to let go (without compensating the project - I should make it clear I'm not trying to complete a shitty project. It still needs to be successful and brilliant in it's own way).

-Project must be something I've never done before;
     -No books, no posters, no websites, no PSA's etc.
     -It can be a combination of these things so long as they're combined in a way that I haven't done before.
-work in 3D world: I want to work with spaces, 3D objects, something that has a building component to it

Some ideas of what I could do:

-create my ideal space to work that is inspired by the things that inspire & stimulate me, and that function as a design workplace should (to my needs). Break the mold of how a studio functions, and base it on my needs as a designer/artist

-create a number of objects (car, shoe store, airplane, t-shirt, running shoes, chair, purse, coffee mug, bathroom etc) that are inspired by a specific song. In other words, take two unrelated things and combine them. Take the importance of the song, or musician (or something - it doesn't have to be music necessarily, could be typographical), the fundamental basics of what makes that song that song, and apply it to this other object.

That's it for now. This is the beginning of my proposal/thesis. I still have to iron out some details and explore solutions for my problem/opportunity a bit more. Nothing is set in stone.

Thank you!
D